Let’s be honest: modern dating can feel like trying to navigate a maze in the dark. The rules are unclear, the emotions are high, and the communication can be confusing at best.

You find yourself asking: Did they really mean that? Am I overreacting? Why did they vanish after such a good date?

The truth is, modern dating has developed its own unique, bizarre language to describe confusing and frustrating experiences. Understanding these terms isn't about slang, it's about recognizing patterns, which is the first step toward better boundaries.

By defining these terms, you understand what's happening, and how you choose to react to it.

The Communication (or Lack Thereof) Terms

These terms describe the various ways people suddenly pull back, fade out, or send confusing signals. 

Ghosting: Suddenly cutting off all communication (texts, calls, social media) without any explanation or warning. The person vanishes like a ghost.

You send a text on Tuesday, and by Saturday, they have completely disappeared, leaving you with zero closure and a whole lot of confusion.

Breadcrumbing: Sending just enough flirty, non-committal messages or social media interactions ("breadcrumbs") to keep you interested, but never committing to a real date or advancing the relationship.

You get a random "Hey, stranger 😉" text every few weeks, but every time you try to make plans, they get vague or disappear.

Benching: Keeping you "on the bench" as a backup option. They interact inconsistently, just enough to keep you interested and hopeful, while they actively explore other options.

They only text you late on a Friday night or on a Sunday when their other plans fell through, and you are never a priority.

The Slow Fade: A gradual, drawn-out form of ghosting. They reply slower and slower, their texts become shorter, and they stop initiating contact until the connection simply fades to nothing.

Your engaging conversations slowly turn into single-word replies and replies that take 24 hours to receive.

Orbiting: Stopping direct communication (like texting or calling) but continuing to engage with your social media (liking photos, viewing your stories). They are still in your "orbit" but won't talk to you directly.

The person who ghosted you hasn't replied in three weeks, but they are the first person to watch all your Instagram Stories.

Zombieing (or Submarining): When someone who previously ghosted you suddenly reappears ("comes back from the dead") without explanation, acting as if nothing happened.

A person you haven't heard from in six months messages you with a casual, "Hey, how have you been?"

Dry-Texting: Sending short, limited, or non-enthusiastic responses (like "K," "lol," or "ok") in conversations, signaling low interest or unwillingness to put in effort.

You send a detailed story about your day, and their only reply is "That's cool."

Deception or Manipulative Terms

Catfishing: Creating an entirely fake identity or persona on a dating platform, using stolen photos and fictional life details.

You discover the person you’ve been talking to for weeks doesn't look like their profile photos and lives in a different city than they claimed.

Kittenfishing: A softer form of catfishing. The person doesn't create a fake profile but uses misleading information, heavily edited or old photos, or exaggerates their achievements.

Their photos are all five years old or so heavily filtered that they look significantly different in person.

Love Bombing: Overwhelming someone with excessive affection, flattery, gifts, and attention very early on to quickly gain trust and emotional control.

You meet someone who declares you are "soulmates" after two dates and showers you with constant, intense attention that soon feels smothering.

Relationship Pacing & Positioning terms

Situationship: A romantic connection that is more than friendship but less than a defined relationship. It lacks clear labels, commitment, or future planning.

You spend time together, have intimacy, and share deep talks, but they refuse to call you their partner or discuss exclusivity.

DTR: An acronym for Define The Relationship. This is the essential conversation where one or both people seek clarity on the relationship status, exclusivity, and expectations.

You finally sit down and say, "I need to know: What are we? and what is the next step?"

Pocketing: Deliberately hiding a romantic partner from their friends, family, or social media. The person is essentially kept "in their pocket" because they are either not serious or not ready to be public.

You've been dating for months, but they always avoid bringing you to group hangouts or meeting their parents, offering vague excuses.

Cushioning: Actively maintaining flirtatious conversations or emotional connections with other people (the "cushions") while in a committed or serious relationship, ensuring they have a backup plan if their main relationship fails.

You discover they are still texting and flirting heavily with multiple people, claiming they were "just keeping their options open."

Why These Terms Exist in the First Place

The vocabulary of modern dating exists because so many people feel the same confusion, frustration, and emotional fatigue. These patterns are symptoms of:

• Low-stakes swipe culture

• Unlimited options leading to low accountability

• Fear of confrontation or vulnerability

• People dating without clarity on what they want

From Confusion to Clarity: Your Next Step

You now have the vocabulary to describe the chaos you encounter. And that is powerful.

Remember, understanding these terms isn't about judging others; it's about gaining clarity and protecting your own time. When you can correctly label a behavior, you stop wasting emotional energy trying to rationalize it. You move from confusing speculation ("Maybe they're just busy?") to clear information ("Ah, this is Breadcrumbing, and it doesn't align with my commitment goals.").

If a pattern doesn't serve your journey toward a serious connection, you have the language and the rationale to intentionally walk away.

Date smarter, not harder. You deserve a clear path to commitment.