It's Not You, It's the Misaligned Missions.

Dating apps are for dating. At least, that’s what we like to believe.

But when you speak to enough people, you realize very quickly that’s not the full story.

When we open an app, we think we're joining one game with one set of rules—finding a partner. However, the reality is that the platform is crowded with people playing four (or more) completely different games simultaneously.

And honestly, I've been guilty of playing different games myself. Sometimes, without even realizing. That's how easy it is to fall into the app's chaotic trap.

It’s this confusion that makes the whole process feel so draining.

The Four Types of Missions on Dating Apps

Here are the four types of people, all of them existing on the same interface.

1. The Validation Seekers (The Dopamine Hit)

Some people are not actually dating. They are there for the dopamine hit of feeling wanted. The quiet self-esteem boost disguised as swiping. Their goal is volume, not connection.

You match, you send a thoughtful message, and they disappear. They got the validation they needed from the match notification and have moved on.

2. The Perpetual Pen Pals (The Conversation Avoiders)

Some people are lonely, bored, or burnt out, and a conversation feels easier than actually making a plan. They are looking for low-stakes, low-effort human interaction to fill time.

You text back and forth for days or weeks. The conversation is pleasant, but the moment you suggest meeting for coffee, they go silent. They wanted connection, but only on the screen.

3. The "Not Right Now" Dancers (The Ambiguous Intentions)

Some people are confused. They say they want a long-term partner, but their behavior says otherwise. They are in the "I want connection, but not today" zone. They want the idea of a relationship but aren't ready to commit time, effort, or vulnerability to actually build one.

They agree to a date, cancel last minute, reschedule vaguely, and keep you hanging. You feel like a backup plan, not a priority.

4. The Intentional Dater (The Ready Minority)

This is a minority on the apps. They want a partner and are ready to put in the effort, the planning, and the vulnerability required to find one.

The Clash of the Missions

Same app. Same interface. Completely different motivations.

This is why dating apps feel chaotic. You’re not playing one game, you’re accidentally playing at least four, without knowing the rules. You waste energy sending quality messages to people who just wanted a dopamine hit, or you propose dates to people who only wanted a pen pal.

And that's why it all feels so exhausting. You are constantly misreading the room and having your high-effort intentions met with low-effort responses.

The Solution: Find Your Own Game

If the exhaustion comes from misaligned missions, the solution is simple: find a space where everyone is playing the same game.

At Meant2Bae, we are built for the intentional dater. By matching on core values and clearly defined relationship goals, we ensure that you invest your energy where it matters most.